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Making Sense of Suffering, Part II

alec vanderboom

"And the trouble I find is that the trouble finds me
It's a part of my mind it begins with a dream
And a feeling I get when I look and I see
That this world is a puzzle, I'll find all of the pieces
And put it all together, and then I'll rearrange it
I'll follow it forever
Always be as strange as it seems"

Talk of the Town, Jack Johnson, Curious George Lyrics

So I wrote earlier about feeling the post-miscarriage blues this week. I offered it up. I ground my teeth and tried to make it through.

I struggled hard to get all three kids in their car seats on Wednesday, with treats and sippy cups in hand, and drove across D.C. to catch a free kids movie with some friends from my rosary group. In the middle of Curious George, this incredible song hits my soul. I quoted it above. Go take a moment and listen to it on You Tube. (Sorry my You Tube posting blog button isn't working today."

I just heard the line "And the trouble I find is that trouble finds me," and somehow the whole suffering thing made sense. I don't get the whys of the miscarriage thing. I'm just a part of this glorious mystery that is God. And for that I'm so thankful. I'm a kid hanging out on my bunch of balloons, going through crazy mishaps, but somehow they fit together. This mystery of faith. It's incredible. That's all I can say "I'll follow it forever." I'm not saying it well, because how can you translate your intangible feelings on the page?

I just know that I was super sad, ten minutes before. Everything seemed wrong and misfitting. We were late. I ran out of gas money and had to use my Dad's credit card. I had no idea where this movie theater was. I had my arms full of cranky kids and a broken down umbrella stroller.

Then inside the movie theater, everything flipped around. I found my friend Maria's shiny face. . .She welcomed us in and handed out extra booster seats. . . There was room for us next to my friend Susan and her two kids. . . We all sat down. . . The baby happily munched her peanut butter crackers and let me watch the movie. . . Then there was this beautiful song. It came when George is sailing over NYC City with a bunch of balloons.

I heard that song, and I hugged baby Maria, and suddenly everything just seemed, um, ... healed.


Today, I messed around with Jack Johnson songs on You Tube. I found this incredible fact. Curious George was written by two German Jews who fled the Holocaust with this children's book manuscript and the clothes on their back. Curious George is an incredible pro-life story inspired by a boy with Down Syndrome.

Here's the story taken from a Down Blogger (check hat tip below for link info):

"As stated in an interview, the book Curious George Takes a Job was inspired by a true story. A boy, whose name is not known today, was born in Hamburg in 1909 with Down's Syndrome. He was institutionalized by his parents, condemned to a life at the facility.

When the boy was 15, he escaped from the institution and fled into the city streets. Hungry and in search of food, he found the briefly unattended kitchen of a restaurant, where a cook found him playing with the food and eating it. The cook, intrigued, put him to work to clean dishes, and took him home that evening. Within the following days, the cook arranged with a friend to have the boy wash windows at an office building.

The boy's work went well at first. But in one office, he found colored paints. He used them to paint a mural on the wall of the office. The tenant returned to his office after a lunch break to find the boy busy painting, and he started to chase after him. The boy jumped out a third-story window, breaking some bones.

The story made local headlines. After several weeks of hospitalization, the boy was formally adopted by the cook, and he later became the star of an amateur movie. He was recognized in the coming years as a talented artist. Some of his artwork was sold by the renowned bookseller, A.S.W. Rosenbach.

Tragically, his identity, art, and other details of his life were lost in the ravages of World War II, and he is believed to have been put to death by the government of Nazi Germany."

Can you believe that? That little boy who inspired Curious George was killed in the Holocaust? Doesn't that make you want to cry? I took my kids and immediately started praying to Jesus. Suffering? The murder of the disabled in Natzi Germany? The murder of Down Syndrome babies in our country after fetal testing? It's too much suffering. It's too sad.

Yet, life of the disabled and the life of my teeny, tiny son Francisco are so beautiful. We are all so seriously blessed in this life. Even with all the mishaps, even with all the sadness, God sends us so many beautiful balloons. Maybe it will be the smile of a friend who saved you a seat in a movie theater, even when she knew you probably felt to miserable to drive anywhere. Maybe it's a story about a precious little boy who makes dinosaur skeletons tumble down and cheerfully reminds me that my own "curious" son is nothing but fun.

Go hug your kids extra tight today.

Hang on to the balloons God sends you and go for a ride.

Thank you God for Life!

Hat Tip: Down Blogger