Contact Us

Use the form on the right to contact us.

You can edit the text in this area, and change where the contact form on the right submits to, by entering edit mode using the modes on the bottom right. 


Martinsburg
United States

benjaminspring2015 (4 of 15).jpg

Alcove

Running Into Jesus at Macy's

alec vanderboom

Yesterday, I took Baby Tess to her doctor's appointment. Me, Tess and her 3 older siblings left the house with the sky a brilliant blue. It was the first day that I'd let the kids leave the house with sweatshirts instead of their winter coats.

Fifteen minutes later on a city bus, all of the passengers watched as ominous black clouds gathered overhead. I looked at Tessy's cute head with its skinny pink cap poking out of the Bijorn. "I hope we get to the doctor's office before it rains."

"Oh God," I prayed. "I'm so poor. I don't even own one umbrella. You've got to help me today."

We made it off the bus before the rain drops started falling. I counted my blessings. Found out that we'd dodged a tornado warning! I counted my blessings twice.

The doctor visit was great. A kind nurse brought everyone TWO rounds of gram cracker snacks. My two older kids stayed uneventfully outside in the waiting area for the first time ever. Tess passed her physical with flying colors and got 3 rounds of immunization shots.

We left the doctor's office at one. The scary clouds were all gone. Now it was raining a damp London drizzle. Jon encouraged me to call a cab for the family instead of waiting in the rain for the next bus. I felt reluctant to spent the extra $17 and I was anxious about this extra notarized document I needed to submit to Children's Hospital. We don't have a bank within walking distance from our house and there were 3 banks near the doctor's office.

I took a deep breath and plunged out in the rain.

If there is ever a time that you feel INCREDIBLY stupid for being poor, it's when you cross heavy city traffic with a newborn on your chest in the rain, with a fuzzy blanket over her head instead of a proper rain coat, and a stream of children trailing behind you.

When we got out of the dangerous cross-walk, I noticed something funny. My kids were all having fun.

It was "Singing in the Rain" Benjamin style. They were all making up songs about getting wet and splashing through puddles with their snow boots on and insisting that they didn't need to wear their hoods because "rain makes my hair curl funny" and "no kids ever have as much fun as us, Mommy!"

When we got into bank, my extra-friendly sweet, "makes me feel like I'm living in a small town again" bank. A jolly guy cooed over the baby and notarized my document for free.

I was feeling so uplifted after getting this dreaded task down, that I asked my kids if they wanted to play at the indoor playground at the Mall next door for a few hours.

I couldn't decide whether I should just call it a day and go home, or wait for a few extra hours to save my husband from a 2 hour bus trip back to the pharmacy later that night. (Tessy has this super crazy ulcer medicine to take after her NICU experience. Her meds need 2 hours to make up at the pharmacy and once made, it requires immediate refridgeration.)

Everyone was so happy with songs and lollipops from the bank, that I decided to "give it a go."

About 1/2 a mile into our walk, I bitterly regretted my decision. There were Canadian geese hanging out in the middle of the highway divider before the Mall, that's how wet the parking lots were. Everyone got soak. Mimi dropped her lollipop in the middle of the crosswalk. "I was talking Mama and it fell out!" She demanded that we return immediately and pick it up. I yanked her forward over a bitter protest.

When we finally got into the nearest Mall door, under the red star of Macy's, I felt like a drowned rat. I felt exhausted. I felt like the stupidest mother on the planet.

But all of my kids were so jolly. The girls ooohed over the pretty women's shoes and handbags. My son tried to divide the shoe prices by his three year old Sister's weekly allowance. Baby Tess looked after everything with wide-eyed wonder.

I shook the rain out of my hair and mentally regrouped. We made it.

As I smoothly guided everyone past the shoe department and towards the exit, a familiar white collar emerged the racks of slippers and winter gloves on clearance.

It was a priest.

I'd never seen a priest at our Mall before and this priest wasn't someone I'd recognized from one of our neighboring parishes.

That didn't matter.

It was Jesus.

"Hello, Father," I said with a smile. "God Bless you!"

Father gave us a special smile as he sized up my entire brood "Same to you."

God didn't give me an umbrella or a sunny day yesterday, but He did give me a special pat on the head!

Mother Teresa: On Premies

alec vanderboom

I'm reading an excellent biography, "Mother Teresa: A Complete Authorized Biography" by Kathryn Spink. I love Mother Teresa because she is so influenced the "little way" of Carmelite Saint Therese of the Child Jesus and the Holy Face.

This passage about Mother Teresa's work with sick children at her Missionary of Charity house, Shishu Bhavan, touched my heart.

"For all of the babies who survived the shock of premature birth, attempted abortion, or simply of being unwanted, there were those who died within an hour of arrival. Mother Teresa's attitude made the transition from practical to that of unqualified love without apparent question: "I don't care what people say about the death rate. Even if they die an hour later we must let them come. These babies must not die uncared for and unloved, because even a tiny baby can feel." (pg 60-61).

The Pope's Summary of St. John of the Cross

alec vanderboom

Dear brothers and sisters, in the end the question remains:

Does this saint with his lofty mysticism, with this arduous way to the summit of perfection, have something to say to us, to the ordinary Christian who lives in the circumstances of today's life, or is he only an example, a model for a few chosen souls who can really undertake this way of purification, of mystical
ascent? To find the answer we must first of all keep present that the life of St. John of the Cross was not a "flight through mystical clouds," but was a very hard life, very practical and concrete, both as reformer of the order, where he met with much opposition, as well as provincial superior, as in the prison of his brothers of religion, where he was exposed to incredible insults and bad physical treatment. It was a hard life but, precisely in the months spent in prison, he wrote one of his most beautiful works. And thus we are able to understand that the way with Christ, the going with Christ, "the Way," is not a weight added to the already
sufficient burden, but something completely different, it is a light, a strength that helps us carry this burden.  

If a man has a great love within him, it's as if this love gives him wings, and he endures life's problems more easily, because he has in himself that light, which is faith: to be loved by God and to let oneself be loved by God in Christ Jesus. This act of allowing oneself to be loved is the light that helps us to carry our daily burden. And holiness is not our work, our difficult work, but rather it is precisely this "openness": Open the windows of the soul so that the light of God can enter, do not forget God because it is precisely in opening oneself to his light that strength
is found, as well as the joy of the redeemed. Let us pray to the Lord so that he will help us to find this sanctity, to allow ourselves to be loved by God, which is the vocation of us all, as well as being truly redemptive. Thank you.

Read the Pope's entire remarks on St. John of the Cross here.

Praying for My Heart Babies

alec vanderboom

It's such an honor to pray for my heart babies, Joey and Ella.

Joey T showed up as a prayer need during Baby Tessy's baby shower. I remember assuring his Godmother "He's going to be fine. He's got a good Saint looking after him. St. Joseph never lets us down!"

Little did I realize that three months later, I'd be meeting Joey T. himself at Children's Hospital. 24 hours after Baby Tessy's emergency admission, Joey's Mom met me at the sixth floor NICU and gave me the gold standard tour. Then she brought me to Joey's 3rd floor cardiac room. Joey's Dad brought Joey's older sisters and meatball sandwiches.

I love praying for babies born with heart defects because I learn so much from their physical struggles. All of us are born with broken hearts from original sin. All of us have "fatal" heart defects that Jesus is trying to heal.

What I learned from praying for Joey, is that serious heart problems take a long time to fix. It's not an overnight deal to become a saint. There will be successes, and set-backs-- and the game is never really OVER probably for many years.

Patience. Determination. COURAGE.

These heart babies change the world for the better everyday. Pray for them. Pray also for their parents who carry a heavy load of fear, hope, love and faith.

"Carmel is the infrastructure of the Church"

alec vanderboom

a quote from my new ride to our Carmel Meetings. Mary got professed as a lay Carmelite in 1960! I'm looking forward to learning so much from her.

(Everything depends upon prayer, so all the outward signs of help that the Church does in the world comes out of an inner life of prayer. Carmelites pray for everyone in the Church, and the wider world, to become closer to Christ.)

Poor Girl, Rich Girl

alec vanderboom

On President's Day, my husband had a funny exchange with a 6 year old kid outside 16 Handles (my family's new favorite ice-cream spot). As Jon locked up the three bicycles a kid came up open mouthed and started to stare. "You have THREE kids!" he finally sputtered.

"I've got four!" Jon said with a smile.

Doing Humble Work

alec vanderboom

"We must not drift way from the humble works, because these are the works nobody will do. It is never too small. But God, being Almighty, sees everything as great.. Very humble work, that is where you and I must be. For there are many people who can do big things. But there are very few people who will do the small things." Mother Teresa.

For the past two years, I've really whined about not doing the "big stuff" for God. To be a Carmelite (and a sane mother of four) I had to quit a lot of church activities. I quit attending "Women of Prayer" Meetings. I quit the purificator committee. I quit Vacation Bible School and folding plastic bags for the Food Bank. I quit going to Adoration at a regular time and having a predictable Daily Mass schedule.

To rub salt in the wound, I sinned with a bit of spiritual envy last month. To celebrate receiving his red hat my beloved Cardinal passed out "Manifesting the Kingdom of God" to people doing "hidden work" for Christ. On the cover of the Catholic Standard was a picture of a Carmelite from my old church receiving recognition for her work at the Spanish Immigration Center.

I joked with my husband "the surest way to NOT get a Manifesting the Kingdom of God award is to stay at home to better care for your own biological children."

Yeah, envy sucks! It's why God put it on the big "No No list" of the 10 commandments.

So weeks after this wound, God has been planting something different in my heart. Like maybe a big "official" volunteering posts are not in my future.

Today, Jon read our "nun mail" our monthly letter from the Poor Clares of Perpetual Adoration. On the bottom was a handwritten note "yours is the first picture we've ever received back of the medals!" As in the picture of Baby Tess that I slapped in my Valentine Greeting to the Sisters turned out to be important. That photo was the first time the Sister ever saw a child wearing the miraculous medals that they lovingly hand make for each New Baby Card.

How many hundreds of medals had those dear Sisters passed out over the years? Now, those dear Nuns have a picture of my Tess up in their convent in a place of honor. That photo op was a reward for a hard-working cloistered Sister. (It also means even MORE prayers for my cute Baby Tess.)

With the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I helped make a Nun's Day all all because I had a little extra time on my hands from staying at home, doing my humble work for God.

Mother Teresa reminds us that God has many volunteers for the big, "important" jobs. He lacks cheerful hands for the more "humble" jobs.

Blessed Teresa of Calcutta, pray for us!

Shocking Scripture Passage Today

alec vanderboom

So I'm praying the Liturgy of the Hours with my husband . . . Ho hum, Ho hum. Reading words that I've heard a hundred times before when that dang Living Word of God rises up and smacks me in the heart.

What do you think of this striking passage from Ecclesiastes?

"For to whatever man [God] sees fit he gives wisdom and knowledge and joy; but to the sinner he gives the task of gathering possessions to be given to whatever man God sees fit. This also is vanity and a chase after wind."

Say what?

To the "sinner" is given the task of "gathering possessions"????

As in the obession with "gathering possessions" already marks you as a sinner. And you're doing a lowly task for God who will ultimately decide to hand over your possessions to someone else (as in inheritance or in a bankrupcy?)

Shocking!

Oh Happy Day!

alec vanderboom

One of the cutest babies in the world just got formally adopted on paper today! (Little Abigail Chiara got adopted by her Mama and her Daddy in their hearts on the day of her birth and adopted by the Catholic Church through her baptism awhile ago.)

Hurrah!

If you haven't checked out Lauren's lovely blog "Magnify the Lord with Me" stop by and say hello. She has insightful posts on "Marriage Mondays." She has helpful hints for raising a newborn. (Lauren was the girl who insisted that I cope with Baby Tessy's colic with the Happiest Baby on the Block book and a Moby Wrap. Thank you!)

But the most jaw dropping thing about Miss Lauren is that she is a Mother who has gone through the cross of losing her children over and over again- and yet she keeps saying YES to new life!

Lauren carried the cross of infertility for years. She opened her heart to four babies who needed a safe, loving homes. Over and over again, she lost each one in a failed adoption.

Two weeks after the heartache of held a newborn baby boy in her arms that the mother decided later not to place out for adoption, Lauren met with a social worker and said "lets keep going!"

The fifth child that she opened her heart up to adopt ending up being-- Abigail Chiara.

Now Lauren's spiritual motherhood finally matches her actual physical motherhood. A new baby forever in her heart and now forever in her arms!

Praise God for your continued Yes, Miss Lauren! You inspire me!

“When was the last time any of us here prayed for Osama Bin Laden?”

alec vanderboom

Ouch! Prayer is hard work! The Deacon's Bench reminds us that today's Gospel reading holds us all to a very high standard. "When was the last time any of us here prayed for Osama Bin Lidin?"

Not me, Lord! I've been too busy patting myself on the back for my constant prayers for those adorably cute babies in the Children's National Hospital NICU ward.

'Cause it's easy to pray for adorably innocent babies, even if they happen to have "unadorable" yellowish green NG tubes coming out of their nose.

It's much harder to pray for angry guys from foreign lands who desire to plant explosives on my local Metro Redline.

And I'd argue that praying for abstract enemies who hate my country and desire to blow up my children on the Redline Metro, are far easier to pray for and far easier to love, than my more personal enemies in real life who seem to get kicks and giggles from their emotional sucker punches to me, my kids and my spouse.

Jesus lays done the line clearly for us -- LOVE YOUR ENEMIES! Pray for them!

We all know that I'm a major sinner in the "Christian who lacks meekness" department.

Guess I just got my prayer project for Lent!

Pope's Summary of St. Teresa of Avila

alec vanderboom

BENEDICT XVI
GENERAL AUDIENCE
Paul VI Audience Hall
Wednesday, 2 February 2011

Saint Teresa of Avila

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

In the course of the Catecheses that I have chosen to dedicate to the Fathers of the Church and to great theologians and women of the Middle Ages I have also had the opportunity to reflect on certain Saints proclaimed Doctors of the Church on account of the eminence of their teaching. Today I would like to begin a brief series of meetings to complete the presentation on the Doctors of the Church and I am beginning with a Saint who is one of the peaks of Christian spirituality of all time — St Teresa of Avila [also known as St Teresa of Jesus].

St Teresa, whose name was Teresa de Cepeda y Ahumada, was born in Avila, Spain, in 1515. In her autobiography she mentions some details of her childhood: she was born into a large family, her “father and mother, who were devout and feared God”, into a large family. She had three sisters and nine brothers.
While she was still a child and not yet nine years old she had the opportunity to read the lives of several Martyrs which inspired in her such a longing for martyrdom that she briefly ran away from home in order to die a Martyr’s death and to go to Heaven (cf. Vida, [Life], 1, 4); “I want to see God”, the little girl told her parents.

A few years later Teresa was to speak of her childhood reading and to state that she had discovered in it the way of truth which she sums up in two fundamental principles. On the one hand was the fact that “all things of this world will pass away” while on the other God alone is “for ever, ever, ever”, a topic that recurs in her best known poem: “Let nothing disturb you, Let nothing frighten you, All things are passing away: God never changes. Patience obtains all things. Whoever has God lacks nothing; God alone suffices”. She was about 12 years old when her mother died and she implored the Virgin Most Holy to be her mother (cf. Vida, I, 7).

If in her adolescence the reading of profane books had led to the distractions of a worldly life, her experience as a pupil of the Augustinian nuns of Santa María de las Gracias de Avila and her reading of spiritual books, especially the classics of Franciscan spirituality, introduced her to recollection and prayer.
When she was 20 she entered the Carmelite Monastery of the Incarnation, also in Avila. In her religious life she took the name “Teresa of Jesus”. Three years later she fell seriously ill, so ill that she remained in a coma for four days, looking as if she were dead (cf. Vida, 5, 9). In the fight against her own illnesses too the Saint saw the combat against weaknesses and the resistance to God’s call: “I wished to live”, she wrote, “but I saw clearly that I was not living, but rather wrestling with the shadow of death; there was no one to give me life, and I was not able to take it. He who could have given it to me had good reasons for not coming to my aid, seeing that he had brought me back to himself so many times, and I as often had left him” (Vida, 7, 8).

In 1543 she lost the closeness of her relatives; her father died and all her siblings, one after another, emigrated to America. In Lent 1554, when she was 39 years old, Teresa reached the climax of her struggle against her own weaknesses. The fortuitous discovery of the statue of “a Christ most grievously wounded”, left a deep mark on her life (cf. Vida, 9). The Saint, who in that period felt deeply in tune with the St Augustine of the Confessions, thus describes the decisive day of her mystical experience: “and... a feeling of the presence of God would come over me unexpectedly, so that I could in no wise doubt either that he was within me, or that I was wholly absorbed in him” (Vida, 10, 1).

Parallel to her inner development, the Saint began in practice to realize her ideal of the reform of the Carmelite Order: in 1562 she founded the first reformed Carmel in Avila, with the support of the city’s Bishop, Don Alvaro de Mendoza, and shortly afterwards also received the approval of John Baptist Rossi, the Order’s Superior General. In the years that followed, she continued her foundations of new Carmelite convents, 17 in all. Her meeting with St John of the Cross was fundamental. With him, in 1568, she set up the first convent of Discalced Carmelites in Duruelo, not far from Avila. In 1580 she obtained from Rome the authorization for her reformed Carmels as a separate, autonomous Province. This was the starting point for the Discalced Carmelite Order.

Indeed, Teresa’s earthly life ended while she was in the middle of her founding activities. She died on the night of 15 October 1582 in Alba de Tormes, after setting up the Carmelite Convent in Burgos, while on her way back to Avila. Her last humble words were: “After all I die as a child of the Church”, and “O my Lord and my Spouse, the hour that I have longed for has come. It is time to meet one another”.

Teresa spent her entire life for the whole Church although she spent it in Spain. She was beatified by Pope Paul V in 1614 and canonized by Gregory XV in 1622. The Servant of God Paul VI proclaimed her a “Doctor of the Church” in 1970.

Teresa of Jesus had no academic education but always set great store by the teachings of theologians, men of letters and spiritual teachers. As a writer, she always adhered to what she had lived personally through or had seen in the experience of others (cf. Prologue to The Way of Perfection), in other words basing herself on her own first-hand knowledge.

Teresa had the opportunity to build up relations of spiritual friendship with many Saints and with St John of the Cross in particular. At the same time she nourished herself by reading the Fathers of the Church, St Jerome, St Gregory the Great and St Augustine.

Among her most important works we should mention first of all her autobiography, El libro de la vida (the book of life), which she called Libro de las misericordias del Señor [book of the Lord’s mercies].
Written in the Carmelite Convent at Avila in 1565, she describes the biographical and spiritual journey, as she herself says, to submit her soul to the discernment of the “Master of things spiritual”, St John of Avila. Her purpose was to highlight the presence and action of the merciful God in her life. For this reason the work often cites her dialogue in prayer with the Lord. It makes fascinating reading because not only does the Saint recount that she is reliving the profound experience of her relationship with God but also demonstrates it.

In 1566, Teresa wrote El Camino de Perfección [The Way of Perfection]. She called it Advertencias y consejos que da Teresa de Jesús a sus hermanas [recommendations and advice that Teresa of Jesus offers to her sisters]. It was composed for the 12 novices of the Carmel of St Joseph in Avila. Teresa proposes to them an intense programme of contemplative life at the service of the Church, at the root of which are the evangelical virtues and prayer. Among the most precious passages is her commentary on the Our Father, as a model for prayer.

St Teresa’s most famous mystical work is El Castillo interior [The Interior Castle]. She wrote it in 1577 when she was in her prime. It is a reinterpretation of her own spiritual journey and, at the same time, a codification of the possible development of Christian life towards its fullness, holiness, under the action of the Holy Spirit. Teresa refers to the structure of a castle with seven rooms as an image of human interiority. She simultaneously introduces the symbol of the silk worm reborn as a butterfly, in order to express the passage from the natural to the supernatural. The Saint draws inspiration from Sacred Scripture, particularly the Song of Songs, for the final symbol of the “Bride and Bridegroom” which enables her to describe, in the seventh room, the four crowning aspects of Christian life: the Trinitarian, the Christological, the anthropological and the ecclesial.

St Teresa devoted the Libro de la fundaciones [book of the foundations], which she wrote between 1573 and 1582, to her activity as Foundress of the reformed Carmels. In this book she speaks of the life of the nascent religious group. This account, like her autobiography, was written above all in order to give prominence to God’s action in the work of founding new monasteries.

It is far from easy to sum up in a few words Teresa’s profound and articulate spirituality. I would like to mention a few essential points.

In the first place St Teresa proposes the evangelical virtues as the basis of all Christian and human life and in particular, detachment from possessions, that is, evangelical poverty, and this concerns all of us; love for one another as an essential element of community and social life; humility as love for the truth; determination as a fruit of Christian daring; theological hope, which she describes as the thirst for living water. Then we should not forget the human virtues: affability, truthfulness, modesty, courtesy, cheerfulness, culture.

Secondly, St Teresa proposes a profound harmony with the great biblical figures and eager listening to the word of God. She feels above all closely in tune with the Bride in the Song of Songs and with the Apostle Paul, as well as with Christ in the Passion and with Jesus in the Eucharist.

The Saint then stresses how essential prayer is. Praying, she says, “means being on terms of friendship with God frequently conversing in secret with him who, we know, loves us” (Vida 8, 5). St Teresa’s idea coincides with Thomas Aquinas’ definition of theological charity as “amicitia quaedam hominis ad Deum”, a type of human friendship with God, who offered humanity his friendship first; it is from God that the initiative comes (cf. Summa Theologiae II-II, 23, 1).

Prayer is life and develops gradually, in pace with the growth of Christian life: it begins with vocal prayer, passes through interiorization by means of meditation and recollection, until it attains the union of love with Christ and with the Holy Trinity. Obviously, in the development of prayer climbing to the highest steps does not mean abandoning the previous type of prayer. Rather, it is a gradual deepening of the relationship with God that envelops the whole of life. Rather than a pedagogy Teresa’s is a true “mystagogy” of prayer: she teaches those who read her works how to pray by praying with them. Indeed, she often interrupts her account or exposition with a prayerful outburst.

Another subject dear to the Saint is the centrality of Christ’s humanity. For Teresa, in fact, Christian life is the personal relationship with Jesus that culminates in union with him through grace, love and imitation. Hence the importance she attaches to meditation on the Passion and on the Eucharist as the presence of Christ in the Church for the life of every believer, and as the heart of the Liturgy. St Teresa lives out unconditional love for the Church: she shows a lively “sensus Ecclesiae”, in the face of the episodes of division and conflict in the Church of her time. She reformed the Carmelite Order with the intention of serving and defending the “Holy Roman Catholic Church”, and was willing to give her life for the Church (cf. Vida, 33,5).

A final essential aspect of Teresian doctrine which I would like to emphasize is perfection, as the aspiration of the whole of Christian life and as its ultimate goal. The Saint has a very clear idea of the “fullness” of Christ, relived by the Christian. At the end of the route through The Interior Castle, in the last “room”, Teresa describes this fullness, achieved in the indwelling of the Trinity, in union with Christ through the mystery of his humanity.

Dear brothers and sisters, St Teresa of Jesus is a true teacher of Christian life for the faithful of every time. In our society, which all too often lacks spiritual values, St Teresa teaches us to be unflagging witnesses of God, of his presence and of his action. She teaches us truly to feel this thirst for God that exists in the depths of our hearts, this desire to see God, to seek God, to be in conversation with him and to be his friends.

This is the friendship we all need that we must seek anew, day after day. May the example of this Saint, profoundly contemplative and effectively active, spur us too every day to dedicate the right time to prayer, to this openness to God, to this journey, in order to seek God, to see him, to discover his friendship and so to find true life; indeed many of us should truly say: “I am not alive, I am not truly alive because I do not live the essence of my life”.
Therefore time devoted to prayer is not time wasted, it is time in which the path of life unfolds, the path unfolds to learning from God an ardent love for him, for his Church, and practical charity for our brothers and sisters. Many thanks.