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Filtering by Tag: Music

Katy Perry --Roar

alec vanderboom

During the miscarriage wait, I was callously making fun of Katy Perry outfit on Saturday Night Live until she sang the lyric about "Louder than a Lion!" I changed my tune and said "That's my Leo!" Every time I started to get anxious about my ability to handle Leo's death, I'd sing this song to myself.

Gym Class Heroes: Stereo Hearts ft. Adam Levine [OFFICIAL VIDEO]

alec vanderboom

I love to pray along with the radio. I'm in love with this song this weekend. It sort of reminds me of an updated take on St. Francis of Assisi's "Make me an instrument of your peace." I like singing this one to my Jesus. "Make me a Stereo of Your Heart." I was an 80's girl who was so excited to buy her first "ghetto blaster" with her own babysitting money. It just makes me laugh and smile to think about becoming a better boom box for Jesus.

Pink - please don't leave me lyrics

alec vanderboom

So I'm driving down the snowy roads with my kids today. Then I hear this song on the radio for the first time (yeah, I'm a little sheltered)--and I'm just stunned. This is the perfect insight to a Borderline Personality Disorder. "You're my perfect little punching bag." "How did I become this obnoxious? What is it about you that makes me act like this?" "But baby I don't mean it, I promise."

I told my kids, this is not how love acts and you should never date this, let alone marry this!

When you're raised by someone with problems you get this thing called "fleas." They are these little mental health ticks that aren't you--but are bits of learned behavior that can come out in stressful situations. I've got Borderline Fleas and Narcissism ticks. It sucks. Cleaning up ticks and fleas off yourself is unpleasant work.

I've got to say, I'm 100% grateful for the Eucharist. The wisdom from the Holy Font is true. There is no way I would have ever figured out that respect for my husband is paramount--especially whenever I'm feeling unloved, unappreciated, or abandoned. My new mantra is "I can get angry without getting mean."

That's what respect is to me. I'm trying so hard not to be mean. Not to take the cheap shot. No nitpicking, or sighing loudly in another room or rolling my eyes. If there's a problem in my marriage, I need courage to talk about it openly and honestly.

Surprise. When I try my marriage God's way, my husband and I can talk about really deep problems together We can actually come up with solutions--from more romance to getting cheaper heating bills. When I pray to be more respectful--I'm less obnoxious--and more things start changing for the better.

Oh Pink. I love you, woman! I'm praying you into the Catholic Church along with Taylor Swift and few dozen other song writers I'd love to sit in the pew with during Daily Mass.

Starting With The Girl in the Mirror

alec vanderboom

Somehow Whitney Houston's recent death makes me miss Michael Jackson even more. This song always makes me cry. I loved it as an elementary school student. I didn't know at the time that this strong affection for the lyrics "if you want to make the world a better place, better start with yourself and make the change!" meant that I was already marked as a Carmelite.

I didn't really internalize this truth as a young adult. As a "do gooder" Democrat, I spend so much of my life running around, trying to make the world a better place with social programs. I spent so much of my twenties feeling frustrated, burned out and unhappy.

Now it's such a profound realization to know that peace in the larger world always starts with peace in my own heart, my peace with God.

Lee Ann Womack - I Hope You Dance

alec vanderboom

To my precious "in real life" friend who is newly pregnant after years of infertility and a recent (and emotional painful) third miscarriage--I say HURRAH! You are a brave woman and I love you!

For everyone out there who is struggling to stay "open to life."

After infertility....


a failed adoption...

infant death....

or a scary, bone-rattling ride with an older child through Children's National Hospital,

my strong Carmelite prayer for each one of you is:

"if you get the chance, to sit it out or dance...
I hope you dance!"

Because babies are worth the risk!