Contact Us

Use the form on the right to contact us.

You can edit the text in this area, and change where the contact form on the right submits to, by entering edit mode using the modes on the bottom right. 

United States


Tears Are Good for Me Too

alec vanderboom

I have a situation in my life that makes me cry. Last night, I cried all the way to my CODA meeting. I cried during my CODA meeting. I cried on the way home. When I got home, I drew a gentle boundary around myself. I told Jon that I wasn't upset with him, but that I couldn't talk about my situation anymore tonight. I wanted to curl up in my bed and go to sleep.

I have a kind and respectful husband. He encouraged me to eat dinner at 8:30 PM. We talked a little around the edges of my problem. I agreed that I have a tendency to be a tad hard on myself. I chased the kids off of Cartoon Network and emptied my bedroom of people. I changed into my pajamas.

I surprised myself because at 9 PM I felt better. After two and half hours of crying, I felt peaceful. I felt hopeful. I got some good advice at my CODA meeting. I shocked that this program works. I've spent my whole life avoiding feeling my negative feelings. I've spent a lifetime in my head intellectualizing problems and "being a pro-active problem solver." Last night, I went into a room with strangers and I felt real grief. After it was done, no one gave me "advice" on how to fix my problem. I got some gentle hugs, instead.

At 9 PM last night, I felt happy. I didn't have the urge to go shopping. I didn't have the urge to pick apart my situation in my head. I didn't have the urge to research obsessively on the internet. Instead, I  watched a crummy TV show. I kissed my husband after he put our kids to bed. Then I went to sleep.

I'm so grateful for recovery. I'm hopeful that life at 40 is going to rock!