People talk about certain women as being "anti-child" as if it's a lighthearted issue. It's a preference like "some women like to shop" and some women like to go to art museums.
As someone who spent my teens and twenties terrified of having children--it didn't feel like a "choice to me." I thought I couldn't be a mother. Sometimes I thought I'd physically be infertile, but mostly I thought I'd be really, really awful as a mother. I thought I was broken inside. I thought being someone's Mom was just something I couldn't do.
So something that I "couldn't do" quickly became something that I shouldn't do.
I endured some crazy, crazy emotional abuse as a kid. Parts of mothering came easier to me than I expected, but other parts that I thought should be easy to do, are hard. It's work. And it's embarrassing that it's work--rather than this la la easy lifestyle I imagine (probably falsely) that other women experience.
Yet, I am on my knees grateful that I have my babies. They are saving my soul. They are saving my marriage. They have made me go from this hollow person--to an actually feeling, giving, shiny soul. My husband and my relationship is so much better with each and every kid--it's hard to go back in time and remember what our marriage was like before I had Baby Abigail. Our marriage is that much better this winter.
St Paul tells us to "encourage each other daily while it is still today."
A mother is not "born" automatically whenever her first child is born. Motherhood is a spiritual reality--a gift each day from God. I only got over my fear of 'pregnancy' (which was really a deep seeded fear that I'd be a bad mother) because obedience to the Catholic Church demanded that I give up birth control. I am forever grateful to the Catholic Church for that teaching.