A Catholic told me recently "God doesn't love us with affection!" It was so shocking, I listened to him repeat that exact statement three times during his speech. "God doesn't love us with affection!"
In my heart I said "NO WAY!"
And I prayed for him. Because he obviously never drank in the glowing words of St. John of the Cross.
God loves each of us, in an affectionate, uniquely personal way. And just because He loves the whole entire world and forgives us all of sin, it doesn't diminish that between Him and me there is a unique, teasing, personal love. He has real affection for my soul.
As one of my wise Carmelite friend likes to say "I'm God's IT GIRL!"
(And her counter-point, "I don't even mind that your God's IT Girl, too. Because I know for certain, I am so the IT GIRL!!!!)
This has been an unbelievably hard week. I am fighting the Devil tooth and nail. It's three weeks before my first Carmel promises, and I'm in the boxing ring with evil. Those bad forces, bad thoughts, bad situations never seem to let up for a second.
And I'm falling down.
I'm falling into sin. I'm screwing up. I'm letting down the Church Militant.
I mean, man if I was a Carmelite soccer goalie instead of a hidden prayer warrior, my current score board would not look good. Something like Evil 256, Pathetic Carmelite 1.
So I was moping around the house today, praying to God for Help and feeling totally miserable.
This song came on the radio.
I can't explain it.
It's personal. It's affectionate.
I might have a million sins still clinging stubbornly to my soul.
I might be a pathetic washout as a mother, a wife and a Catholic.
Yet my pre-engaged spouse, Mr. Jesus Christ, Himself, he still sings to me that "when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for a while....."
It's personal, our love affair. It's affectionate.