(This is her goodbye note to her Mother Superior)
"You are uncommonly loved, loved by that love of preference that the Master had here below for some and which brought them so far. He does not say to you as to Peter: "Do you love Me more than these?" Mother, listen to what He tells you, "Let yourself be loved more than these! That is, without fearing that any obstacle will be a hindrance to it, for I am free to pour out My love on whom I wish! Let yourself be loved more than these is your vocation. It is in being faithful to it that you will make Me happy for you will magnify the power of My love. This love can rebuild what you have destroyed. Let yourself be loved more than these."....
"Mother, the fidelity that the Master asks of you is to remain in communion with Love, flow into, be rooted in this Love who wants to make your souls with the seal of His power and His grandeur. You will never be commonplace if you are vigilant in love! (vol 2, pg 179-180)
(I put in bold the lines that really jumped out at me)
This letter is so beautiful on so many levels, but it really helps overcome my "survivor guilt." I don't know why I was the one plucked out of my fame obsessed, sinful and totally selfish lifestyle as a college grad and placed in the middle of Catholicism, a sacramental marriage, abundant motherhood, and Carmel. I REALLY don't deserve it and I'm not doing a great job here on earth living up to my spiritual riches.
Yet there is my gentle buddy 'Sabeth coming to my aid. "Hey, Miss Abigail", she says gently. "Don't get frightened of those Carmel vows you'll be making in three months. Your job is to just let yourself be loved more than these. God's got a plan for everyone's salvation. Your part is to be the 'turned around' Mary Magdalene who gets the unexpected reward of seeing her Savior first on Easter morning. Just sit back, honey, and enjoy the ride!"