Alcove
Cheap Christmas Party Ideas
alec vanderboom
Anyone have fun, easy, and cheap Christmas party ideas?
I'm hosting a Caroling Party for 10 people tomorrow night. I picked up a ham for dinner. I think I'm going to bake 2 pies and possibly some cookies. I need ideas for easy side dishes, appetizers, decorations, etc.
Thinks for letting me borrow your creativity!
I'm hosting a Caroling Party for 10 people tomorrow night. I picked up a ham for dinner. I think I'm going to bake 2 pies and possibly some cookies. I need ideas for easy side dishes, appetizers, decorations, etc.
Thinks for letting me borrow your creativity!
Trials of Post-NICU Motherhood
alec vanderboom
Just a follow-up on my previous sonogram post.
So it was not that bad. They didn't get all the pictures they needed because the little squirt was in an odd position, but at this point I'm cheerfully thinking "the more the merrier" with non-invasive tests for Miss Clare Bear.
Here's the ironic part.
I got yelled at.
Yes, the ultra-sound technician was totally freaked out that they didn't catch Tessy's duodenal atresia during her 20 week ultrasound. Now, I did not think that it was totally weird to miss a speck of trouble in a tiny unborn baby's small intestine. But evidently there is some unstated rule that sonograms are 100% reliable in picking up potential birth defects. So the tech was mad and kept commenting on it through out our very long sonogram appointment.
Then she made a big conclusion that clearly I was at fault for the missed diagnosis. Obviously, it was awful that I brought all my distracting young kids into the previous ultrasound and disrupted the prior tech's concentration. That was the only reasonable explanation for why Tessy's condition went undiscovered.
a) Meanwhile, the tech is lecturing me while she and are are ALONE in the room, which is exactly how it went for 28 1/2 minutes during the last ultrasound with Tess. (I only bring my kids and my husband in at the end of a sonogram to see the youngest baby.)
b) Where does someone get off yelling at the Mom? Especially the Mom of a disabled kid?
c) (which I didn't realize until my husband noted it during our car ride home) this was the EXACT same tech who did Tessy's ultrasound!
Ahh! This conversation made me so mad! (Plus the tech's disclosure that there has been a perinatologist in the same building that I could have easily gotten a referral to see on week one of my pregnancy, instead suffering through weeks of nervousness to week 25).
During our ride home I was channeling my buddies St. James and St. John of Zebedee. "Can't Jesus just burn up that whole building with fire from heaven?" I asked my husband only half in jest. "Our HMO has been so mean to me for four straight pregnancies now AND they do abortions there."
My dear, Carmelite husband looks at me and says seriously "Abby, they ARE going to all end up on Fire. It's called Hell. And it lasts forever. If you don't have Jesus, it's impossible to be nice to a pregnant woman. Impossible! That's where our prayers for God's mercy are supposed to come in."
(I'm telling you, if I end up in heaven after all my "hair trigger temper tantrums" it's going to be solely because I've got the cheat sheet to Jesus' heart itself in my spouse!)
So in the end, I'm working on forgiving everyone in advance of this sweet daughter's birth, because chances are that not a lot of doctors, nurses and ultra sound techs are going to be super excited about kid number five entering into the world.
But that's fine. Because her Daddy, me and Jesus are firmly in her fan club. Our love counts more!
So it was not that bad. They didn't get all the pictures they needed because the little squirt was in an odd position, but at this point I'm cheerfully thinking "the more the merrier" with non-invasive tests for Miss Clare Bear.
Here's the ironic part.
I got yelled at.
Yes, the ultra-sound technician was totally freaked out that they didn't catch Tessy's duodenal atresia during her 20 week ultrasound. Now, I did not think that it was totally weird to miss a speck of trouble in a tiny unborn baby's small intestine. But evidently there is some unstated rule that sonograms are 100% reliable in picking up potential birth defects. So the tech was mad and kept commenting on it through out our very long sonogram appointment.
Then she made a big conclusion that clearly I was at fault for the missed diagnosis. Obviously, it was awful that I brought all my distracting young kids into the previous ultrasound and disrupted the prior tech's concentration. That was the only reasonable explanation for why Tessy's condition went undiscovered.
a) Meanwhile, the tech is lecturing me while she and are are ALONE in the room, which is exactly how it went for 28 1/2 minutes during the last ultrasound with Tess. (I only bring my kids and my husband in at the end of a sonogram to see the youngest baby.)
b) Where does someone get off yelling at the Mom? Especially the Mom of a disabled kid?
c) (which I didn't realize until my husband noted it during our car ride home) this was the EXACT same tech who did Tessy's ultrasound!
Ahh! This conversation made me so mad! (Plus the tech's disclosure that there has been a perinatologist in the same building that I could have easily gotten a referral to see on week one of my pregnancy, instead suffering through weeks of nervousness to week 25).
During our ride home I was channeling my buddies St. James and St. John of Zebedee. "Can't Jesus just burn up that whole building with fire from heaven?" I asked my husband only half in jest. "Our HMO has been so mean to me for four straight pregnancies now AND they do abortions there."
My dear, Carmelite husband looks at me and says seriously "Abby, they ARE going to all end up on Fire. It's called Hell. And it lasts forever. If you don't have Jesus, it's impossible to be nice to a pregnant woman. Impossible! That's where our prayers for God's mercy are supposed to come in."
(I'm telling you, if I end up in heaven after all my "hair trigger temper tantrums" it's going to be solely because I've got the cheat sheet to Jesus' heart itself in my spouse!)
So in the end, I'm working on forgiving everyone in advance of this sweet daughter's birth, because chances are that not a lot of doctors, nurses and ultra sound techs are going to be super excited about kid number five entering into the world.
But that's fine. Because her Daddy, me and Jesus are firmly in her fan club. Our love counts more!
It's a GIRL!
alec vanderboom
Pleased as punch to announce that
Miss Clare Jean Benjamin
is expected on March 22, 2012!
Miss Clare Jean Benjamin
is expected on March 22, 2012!
The Joys of Catholic Motherhood
alec vanderboom
It's pretty crazy being the mother of the Benjamins at the indoor soccer field.
For the first hour of soccer practice on Wednesday all I hear is "ALEX! ALEX!!!" because my 7 year old son has his head in the clouds and is the only kid on his intense team NOT watching the ball.
For the second hour of soccer practice all I hear is the coach yelling "Hannah, Hannah! Way to go HANNAH!" because my 8 year old daughter is a killer defender and has her foot on literally every scoring attempt from the other side.
It's kinda nice to have both parenting experiences side by side.
For the first hour of soccer practice on Wednesday all I hear is "ALEX! ALEX!!!" because my 7 year old son has his head in the clouds and is the only kid on his intense team NOT watching the ball.
For the second hour of soccer practice all I hear is the coach yelling "Hannah, Hannah! Way to go HANNAH!" because my 8 year old daughter is a killer defender and has her foot on literally every scoring attempt from the other side.
It's kinda nice to have both parenting experiences side by side.
Thrown Back Into the Pile
alec vanderboom
(A follow-up post from a Post-NICU Mama)
In a gushing burst of love for little "mystery" Benjamin (my kid's nickname for their youngest sib) I scheduled a sonogram for this Thursday. I did it solely to let my husband see an early outline of his little one's face. This was a huge deal for me. I tried to explain to my husband all my conflicting emotions with my first pregnancy after a NICU baby. They are mostly not good.
I mean, I love this new kid. I prayed for him (or her). I'm okay with doing general routine maintenance during OB appointments--testing my sugar, etc.
But I'm so NOT cool with doing a sonogram.
It's like, the bloom is off of the rose.
Not only did I have a kid with a fatal birth defect who passed her sonogram--I had a kid who PASSED all her physicals with flying colors for the first SIX DAYS of life. I think I truly passed the 10 mark of pediatricians who all said that my Tess had simple reflux or simple jaundice, all while she was actually dying! (The worse thing for me was that she was under 48 hours of hospital observation from day 4 to day 6 and no one caught it.)
So this whole "sonogram" thing doesn't mean anything to me. I'm not going to believe it if we get an "all clear"--but the worse part, I don't think I'm going to believe it if we get the "all clear" during the next baby's first week of life, either.
The good news is that they don't think that my daughter's birth defect is genetic, which means we have no higher risk of having it again.
The bad news is that they are throwing me back into the pile! Seriously, I have no special tests or monitoring done with this next pregnancy. Which is hard because the technical odds of something going wrong might be the same as pre-Tess, but I'm not the same!
I am not the same Mom.
So, I don't know. Yesterday, I call the hospital where I gave birth to Tess and where I'm scheduled to give birth with baby mystery. I was hoping to get some insight into what screening tests after my new baby's birth to rule out any intestinal or heart trouble. The Pediatric Floor remembered me! Tess left a memorable impression. The bad news is they are not going to do anything. In fact, the perky nurse said "don't worry after any neo-natal testing because if there is a problem they'll catch it in the sonogram."
I said "But they didn't catch Tessy's problem in the sonogram!"
Dead silence on the other end of phone.
Yeah, no help or understanding from the medical establishment. There's no standard protocol As my husband said with forgiveness "Tessy's troubles weren't serious enough to go into automatic high alert status with the next baby, but we also can't go back into in easy, totally healthy baby section either. We're in the gray zone where no one knows what to do with us."
So it looks like it's just Jesus, Mary, and the Archangel Raphael who will be the ones keeping an extra sharp lookout on mystery Benjamin's pregnancy and his emotionally fragile Mama. Which worked perfectly for Baby Tessy's birth.
On the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, I didn't celebrate with any cute teaching moments with my kids. Instead, I tried to more deeply inhale our Mommy's dear promise:
"Do not let anything afflict you, and do not be afraid of any illness or accident or pain. Am I not here who am your Mother? Are you not under my shadow and protection? Is there anything else that you need?"
In a gushing burst of love for little "mystery" Benjamin (my kid's nickname for their youngest sib) I scheduled a sonogram for this Thursday. I did it solely to let my husband see an early outline of his little one's face. This was a huge deal for me. I tried to explain to my husband all my conflicting emotions with my first pregnancy after a NICU baby. They are mostly not good.
I mean, I love this new kid. I prayed for him (or her). I'm okay with doing general routine maintenance during OB appointments--testing my sugar, etc.
But I'm so NOT cool with doing a sonogram.
It's like, the bloom is off of the rose.
Not only did I have a kid with a fatal birth defect who passed her sonogram--I had a kid who PASSED all her physicals with flying colors for the first SIX DAYS of life. I think I truly passed the 10 mark of pediatricians who all said that my Tess had simple reflux or simple jaundice, all while she was actually dying! (The worse thing for me was that she was under 48 hours of hospital observation from day 4 to day 6 and no one caught it.)
So this whole "sonogram" thing doesn't mean anything to me. I'm not going to believe it if we get an "all clear"--but the worse part, I don't think I'm going to believe it if we get the "all clear" during the next baby's first week of life, either.
The good news is that they don't think that my daughter's birth defect is genetic, which means we have no higher risk of having it again.
The bad news is that they are throwing me back into the pile! Seriously, I have no special tests or monitoring done with this next pregnancy. Which is hard because the technical odds of something going wrong might be the same as pre-Tess, but I'm not the same!
I am not the same Mom.
So, I don't know. Yesterday, I call the hospital where I gave birth to Tess and where I'm scheduled to give birth with baby mystery. I was hoping to get some insight into what screening tests after my new baby's birth to rule out any intestinal or heart trouble. The Pediatric Floor remembered me! Tess left a memorable impression. The bad news is they are not going to do anything. In fact, the perky nurse said "don't worry after any neo-natal testing because if there is a problem they'll catch it in the sonogram."
I said "But they didn't catch Tessy's problem in the sonogram!"
Dead silence on the other end of phone.
Yeah, no help or understanding from the medical establishment. There's no standard protocol As my husband said with forgiveness "Tessy's troubles weren't serious enough to go into automatic high alert status with the next baby, but we also can't go back into in easy, totally healthy baby section either. We're in the gray zone where no one knows what to do with us."
So it looks like it's just Jesus, Mary, and the Archangel Raphael who will be the ones keeping an extra sharp lookout on mystery Benjamin's pregnancy and his emotionally fragile Mama. Which worked perfectly for Baby Tessy's birth.
On the Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe, I didn't celebrate with any cute teaching moments with my kids. Instead, I tried to more deeply inhale our Mommy's dear promise:
"Do not let anything afflict you, and do not be afraid of any illness or accident or pain. Am I not here who am your Mother? Are you not under my shadow and protection? Is there anything else that you need?"
How to Tell If You're A Really Great Sunday School Teacher
alec vanderboom
After a rough lesson on the Third Commandment---where my students were in open rebellion about the requirement to got to Mass every Sunday and one kid defiantly said, "I'm not even going to Mass on Christmas!", I started a game of "telephone" to lighten the mood.
I'm so glad one of the first messages to pass along in a whisper was "Going to Mass stinks!" Clearly, my lesson on the importance of "Honoring the Sabbath" made a wonderful impression! :-)
I'm so glad one of the first messages to pass along in a whisper was "Going to Mass stinks!" Clearly, my lesson on the importance of "Honoring the Sabbath" made a wonderful impression! :-)
Why I Love My Husband, Part VIII
alec vanderboom
This past Friday we had the following conversation while Jon was on the commuter train.
Him: "So you picked up paint today and we'll be painting the living room tonight?"
Me: "No. I fled from the Lowe's in a panic. There were so many color options. I just didn't feel like I could commit to one."
Him: "I know it's really hard to choose. That's why I was secretly hoping you'd take the pressure off."
Me: "Really?"
Him: You can just pick one, and if it looks bad, we'll just paint over it with another color. Anything is going to better than the all white walls we currently have in the living room."
Me: "Well, there was this one shade that I was thinking about, but I'm still not sure what it's going to look like at night....."
Him: "As long as its not black, it can't be wrong!"
Me: "Okay, you've inspired me! I'll go back to Lowe's right now with the kids. We'll get the paint for you to work on tonight!"
(Why was that conversation so lovely? Because it wasn't until AFTER I hung up the phone that I remembered my husband is the one with the Masters of Fine Arts degree! Jon is so endlessly encouraging. Like Jesus, my husband is very meek and humble of heart!)
How to Paint a Living Room with Small Children
alec vanderboom
So I asked all my friends on facebook for advice on how to paint a living room in small patches while having lots of young children in the house...
No one came up with my husband's suggestion--put them to work!
Daddy did the high parts
Finished result!
No one came up with my husband's suggestion--put them to work!
Daddy did the high parts
Finished result!
Why I Love My Husband Part VII
alec vanderboom
Because he scores his children's miniature golf game as seriously as if he were on a real putting green!
Go Say Congratulations
alec vanderboom
Two of my favorite Catholic bloggers are celebrating new life today.
Lauren from Magnify the Lord with Me just adopted a newborn daughter. Yeah!
Nicole from Sew Hormonal just found out she's pregnant again. Yahoo!
St Hannah, in heaven, pray for all of us infertile women to bear an excess "good fruit" in the form of finding many spiritual children to raise up in the knowledge of the Lord.
Lauren from Magnify the Lord with Me just adopted a newborn daughter. Yeah!
Nicole from Sew Hormonal just found out she's pregnant again. Yahoo!
St Hannah, in heaven, pray for all of us infertile women to bear an excess "good fruit" in the form of finding many spiritual children to raise up in the knowledge of the Lord.
A Beautiful Post About Having Hope
alec vanderboom
All You Who Hope hit the nail on the head with this luminous post. Sometimes our worse suffering occurs just as God is granting a giant yes to our deepest prayers.
Don't ever think Jesus isn't listening to you!
Don't ever think Jesus isn't listening to you!
Sister Love
alec vanderboom
For all the hostile forces who think that there are already "to many people in the world" so no one should have more than two "replacement" kids per family
I'd like to say NO WAY!
My number 3 and number 4 are too precious for words! :-)
I'd like to say NO WAY!
My number 3 and number 4 are too precious for words! :-)
Does Your Monday Currently Suck?
alec vanderboom
Does your Monday currently suck? Are your kids sick and crabby with winter colds? Are there expensive plumbers currently visiting your house or are you trying to teach unmotivated children to learn how to read?
Yet did you get the Eucharist last Sunday? Do you know who is waiting to enter into your heart on Christmas Day?
If so, the world needs you. The world needs you to decorate your face with a beautiful smile to match the holy love lodged deep in your heart--despite all the agitation and turmoil around you.
Here's some proof. As I was researching acappella groups on You Tube I found a clip from my alma mater, Smith College (a college of all women). They are singing this depressing song about lost love INSIDE my old Protestant Church, Helen Hills Hills* Chapel.
The place where I went to pray and feel close to Jesus all of the time in the late 90s is now hosting the words in 2010:
"This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together."
The college dating scene without a concept of true love and sacramental marriage --truly SUCKS!
Lets cover all the petty grievances we have this Advent with out imperfect lives, children, spouses and ourselves this season with a smile. In the "big picture" we have it all! We know the One who truly, truly loves us.
There are a lot of people looking for Hope this Season. Lets give them a reason to come home to the Catholic Church for Christmas.
Smiffenpoofs - "Happy Ending" (Mika) - 2010
(No the double Hills Hills is not a typo. Turns out Helen Hills, Married a boy also named Hills, but when she left the money for the Smith College chapel she wanted it clear that her maiden name was included in the official chapel name. I always that this needless "double name" for my beloved chapel was a bit of a sign that feminism got a little carried away at my dear old college)
Yet did you get the Eucharist last Sunday? Do you know who is waiting to enter into your heart on Christmas Day?
If so, the world needs you. The world needs you to decorate your face with a beautiful smile to match the holy love lodged deep in your heart--despite all the agitation and turmoil around you.
Here's some proof. As I was researching acappella groups on You Tube I found a clip from my alma mater, Smith College (a college of all women). They are singing this depressing song about lost love INSIDE my old Protestant Church, Helen Hills Hills* Chapel.
The place where I went to pray and feel close to Jesus all of the time in the late 90s is now hosting the words in 2010:
"This is the way you left me,
I'm not pretending.
No hope, no love, no glory,
No Happy Ending.
This is the way that we love,
Like it's forever.
Then live the rest of our life,
But not together."
The college dating scene without a concept of true love and sacramental marriage --truly SUCKS!
Lets cover all the petty grievances we have this Advent with out imperfect lives, children, spouses and ourselves this season with a smile. In the "big picture" we have it all! We know the One who truly, truly loves us.
There are a lot of people looking for Hope this Season. Lets give them a reason to come home to the Catholic Church for Christmas.
Smiffenpoofs - "Happy Ending" (Mika) - 2010
(No the double Hills Hills is not a typo. Turns out Helen Hills, Married a boy also named Hills, but when she left the money for the Smith College chapel she wanted it clear that her maiden name was included in the official chapel name. I always that this needless "double name" for my beloved chapel was a bit of a sign that feminism got a little carried away at my dear old college)
One of the joys of moving to a small town
alec vanderboom
Free Horse-Drawn Carriage Rides at Christmas Time
O Eve... do not grieve
alec vanderboom
"O Eve!
My mother, my daughter, life-giving Eve,
Do not be ashamed, do not grieve.
The former things have passed away,
Our God has brought us to a New Day.
See, I am with Child,
Through whom all will be reconciled.
O Eve! My sister, my friend,
We will rejoice together
Forever
Life without end."
— Sr. Columba Guare copyright© 2005 Sisters of the Mississippi Abbey
(ht The Anchoress)
Nice Plug for the Servants of the Lord and of the Virgin Matara,
alec vanderboom
The Anchoress has a nice plug for the Servants of the Lord and of the Virgin Matara. I love the picture above!
I Feel Like I Have Never Ever Done This Before...
alec vanderboom
Pregnancy.
I feel like I have never, ever done this before.
Which is crazy, right?
My youngest is 15 months old. My house is filled with four biological children, who clearly didn't drop in from outer space or hatch from eggs.
Yet this fifth pregnancy, in the 22nd week, still feels so alien to me, so strange.
I still don't have "my pregnant Mama groove" on yet.
It's like I've never been pregnant and tired and had to go to the grocery store before, or had to teach school while I feel distracted, or changed a diaper while my pregnant stomach was feeling extra nauseous, or searched for a maternity dress that was both modest and pretty....
Instead of feeling like I'm on well-traveled ground, I'm constantly shocked that this process of "co-creating a new soul with God" isn't easy.
Mommy Mary, pray for me! This Advent, give me your generous heart!
I feel like I have never, ever done this before.
Which is crazy, right?
My youngest is 15 months old. My house is filled with four biological children, who clearly didn't drop in from outer space or hatch from eggs.
Yet this fifth pregnancy, in the 22nd week, still feels so alien to me, so strange.
I still don't have "my pregnant Mama groove" on yet.
It's like I've never been pregnant and tired and had to go to the grocery store before, or had to teach school while I feel distracted, or changed a diaper while my pregnant stomach was feeling extra nauseous, or searched for a maternity dress that was both modest and pretty....
Instead of feeling like I'm on well-traveled ground, I'm constantly shocked that this process of "co-creating a new soul with God" isn't easy.
Mommy Mary, pray for me! This Advent, give me your generous heart!
Christmas Tree Shopping
alec vanderboom
We went "local" this year, getting our tree from a local Christmas Tree farm. A fun switch from artifical trees in a small City apartment. One of the many benefits of moving to the country!
Freedom From Want
alec vanderboom
This morning Tess stole the breakfast of her three older siblings
and actually demanded more donuts!
Hard to believe that in September 2010
this same baby almost died after a birth defect left her unable to eat for four weeks..
God answered this Mother's prayer for healing--in abundance!
and actually demanded more donuts!
Hard to believe that in September 2010
this same baby almost died after a birth defect left her unable to eat for four weeks..
God answered this Mother's prayer for healing--in abundance!